This article says “Someone who drinks every day has alcohol in their blood twenty four/seven. Avoid talking about the serious things in life like house payments, bills and children’s health issues when they are inebriated. Wait until they have sobered up then initiate the conversation.” well, in other words, I am own.
You are not alone, Lynn. Your story sounds similar to mine…day in and day out. I am CONSTANTLY having to borrow money to keep us afloat, even though we have enough to support us. I see the 18, 30, 12 packs of empties in the garage all the time. And I can tell when he has been drinking because of the horrible stench…it oozes from his pores. We no longer share a joint bank account because I got tired of always having the house in jeopardy because he was constantly running his debit card. When we don’t have money, we sure as hell have money for his beer and his cigarettes! Meanwhile, I struggle to come up with the $70 to $100 monthly that I DESPERATELY NEED for my thyroid medication. I am sick of his lies, sick of his putting everything else second to his beer, sick of the smell of alcohol. I have a really good job, and thankfully, my kids are grown but there are bills upon bills that I have incurred because of his behavior – DUI, wrecked car, legal fees, etc.
It is frustrating to feel as though I have to protect myself like this from someone that claims to love me and need me so much
Over the years I have been very guilty of defending myself while my wife has been verbally assaulting me. Extremely confrontational when she drinks, it has only been over the past 4 months that I have really been able to pull away without fighting. I still fail miserably sometimes and the fights always turn to me being the problem. The issue I have currently is that I am being blamed for becoming cold and withdrawn. In the process of trying to literally physically escape the confrontations I have become less communicative for fear of sparking more arguments and anger from her. I have told her that I can not and will not be there when she literally, physically pushes me away and threatens me. I fear that my distance and sense of peace when I withdraw will become a permanent thing. There just is no easy way to deal with this at all.
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Craig, I’m going through the same thing right now with my AH. It’s not intentional but I’m having a hard time being kind and affectionate when I feel like he is destroying his life and his body. He has told me to make a decision on where I’m going because he is done with my actions and lack there of. It’s killing me that he doesn’t understand what I’m going through daily with his drinking. I have recently been going to Al-Anon meetings and they have been helping me but I’m afraid it’s too late. He’s coming back from a trip and said he is done and wants me to make a decision on where I’m going when he gets back. I wish you luck Craig.
my partner stopped drinking for 2 years, because he had 2 strokes. Now he started again. One drink then more and more. When he drinks he likes to put me down, telling me that I am not nice with our guests, I cook I clean I do the shopping and I also have a nice bank account. He keeps trying to acuse me of everything that is wrong in the house. I cannot speak to anyone about this, I’m scared friends and family will take side and it will get worse. I have to make a decision if he keeps this up, I cannot live like this.